MOUNT MANSFIELD UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP

REflections February 2010

Tess & Julia

Ah, the wondrous mystery of following along, step by step, on another’s journey and, SURPRISE! arriving at your own destination.

A few weeks ago, I nearly lost my faith, thanks to Julia Sweeney.

   I love Julia Sweeney's tragicomic chronicles of the challenging curve balls life hurls at her, and I was intrigued by the title of her latest, Letting Go of God, so I tuned in to this Showtime offering. True to form, Julia alternately had me laughing and choking up, but this time, she really shook me. As was I, she was raised Roman Catholic, and then began to question her faith of origin, her family's church. Despite some authentic religious experiences during her life, her attachment to the church could not withstand the awesome force of her fierce intellect once she started to examine its interpretation of the Bible. So, as much as it hurt her to do it, she left, and wandered in search of a truer faith, one more in line with her personal experience of the Divine. At first she thought she could just segue into Protestantism, but she soon realized that the magic of Christianity had forever been dispelled for her. Perhaps her path lay farther afield, so she traveled east to Tibet in search of her spiritual truth. Buddhism seemed like the answer until she came across a woman who had adopted a severely deformed little boy. Julia, touched by the woman's generosity, said, “How kind you are to care for this poor little boy" and the woman shook her head and replied, "Poor little boy?! No, he must've done something really terrible to have been reincarnated like this." Disheartened, Julia returned home to California. She had given it her all, but her search for spiritual meaning had only led her down one blind alley after another. Now she faced what was for her a gut wrenching thought - maybe there is no God. She felt frightened and shaken to the core, but the idea persisted. And so she entertained it for a few moments at a time. What did her life feel like without God? At first she felt sad and a little lonely, but eventually, she felt free. Julia doesn't call herself an atheist, though others do. She calls herself a naturalist, because the universe still moves her to feel awe and wonder, and she feels deeply connected to her fellow creatures.

   I was strongly affected by her spiritual journey, truly a "free and responsible search for truth" (UU principle #4). She had the courage to follow her questions wherever they led, regardless of how much it upset her family and changed her life. I understood her process, step by step. Mine had felt very similar…trying to reconcile the God of my experience with the one the church forced on me, having to let go of the myths I had grown up with. But to let go of God altogether? Could I, should I, follow Julia as far as that? The thought scared me as much as it had scared her. For a day or two after watching the show, I tried her conclusion on for size. In the midst of my daily prayers and meditation, as I read about spirituality for my spiritual direction class, a part of me stood aside, head cocked, and asked, "What if there is no God? What if we made all this up to comfort ourselves as we spin through the vast blackness of space?" It was a bleak, deeply unsettling feeling, but I sat with it, waiting for my own truth to emerge. And sure enough, I slowly felt the loving presence that has accompanied me throughout my whole life enveloping me with a deep reassurance. I am here - I am real - I love you. I felt thankful to Julia for helping me face the ultimate question and getting my own personal answer. It was worth the trip.

                             Your Friend,

                                Tess Starecheski,

                                      Senior Religious Educator of MMUUF

A Poem by Philip Appleman:

O Karma, Dharma, pudding and pie,

Gimme a break before I die:

Grant me wisdom, will, and wit,

purity, probity, pluck, and grit.

Trustworthy, loyal, helpful, kind,

                                                                                                                                                                                                     gimme great abs and a steel-trap mind,

and forgive me, Ye Gods, some humble advice –

these little blessings would suffice

to beget an earthly paradise:

make the bad people good –

and the good people nice;

and before our world goes over the brink,

teach the believers how to think.

HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS!

Cassie February 13, 2000     Grayson February 5, 2007

   Grace February 14, 2000      Jackson February 27, 2000

TESS NEEDS HELP!

Please choose a date and call me (434-7005) or e-mail me (tessstar@gmavt.net) to sign up as a classroom helper.

CLASSROOM HELPER SIGN-UP SHEET

DATE	NAME
9-13-09
9-27-09
10-11-09
10-25-09
11-8-09
11-22-09
12-13-09	Jean A
1-10-10
1-24-10
2-14-10
2-28-10
3-14-10
3-28-10
4-11-10
4-25-10
5-9-10
5-23-10

**********************************************************************************

WORDS TO GROW ON

From my dear friend, Kathy Rude:

The Alchemist by Paul Coelho

Have you read this book before?  I had, and this month, with a book club I belong to, had a chance to enjoy it once again.  I think I appreciated it more this time, and found some new takes on the familiar parable of a boy finding his personal legend. He followed a dream, some omens, and occasional advice to a distant buried treasure, only to find in the end, that the treasure was always his, and buried right back where he had first had the dream.

As I read along, I kept thinking about my own journey, and about how we all go out into the world in search of our dream, following what calls us, and wondering what will be the treasures ahead. We meet along the way, paths with obstacles, mentors, many “Groundhog days”, a few reversals, some fragrant poppy fields, and occasional surprises and sorrows.

 There are many themes in this novel, and quite a few good quotes that inspired me, but there was a story within the greater story that for me could be the entire book distilled down to a few drops of wisdom.  The smaller story is of a boy who visits a palace, is given a spoon with a few drops of oil, and is told to walk around for an hour and return.  When he comes back to meet with the host, he is asked if he enjoyed all of the beautiful furnishings and artwork in the palace. He realizes to his surprise that he was too focused on not spilling the drops of oil, and missed all of the beauty. He is then given a second chance, goes out for another hour, and this time enjoys all the sights.  When he returns, he is once again asked about his walk and realizes he has spilled the oil. His host then tells him that the most important thing to remember is to hold the oil, and also see the scenery along the way.  

It sounds so simple, but why is it so difficult to do both?  I find myself contemplating about how often I have focused on the oil to the exclusion of all the present moments streaking by.  I feel that I often walk around in some state of amnesia, swept up in the frisson of a day. I set intentions, list things to finish, have back- logged projects waiting, and in the end, wonder what happened to all of the wonderful moments.  What filled the time?  Where did it go?  The lesson of managing both the higher intentions and to somehow enjoy all the beauty in the castle of each day still challenges me.  Could we be divided into two groups?  Are we oil-in-the spoon people, or are we one of those rare and talented individuals who can appreciate all of the beautiful passing present moments?  I still struggle to do both, and this story is a precious little jewel of a reminder.

RESPITE

A benevolent day in early February.

Shining sun that actually warms.

I am lured outside by the brightness,

and walk through the softening snow

to my favorite spot, Lookout Rock.

As I rest on the bench, eyes closed,

the dried beech leaves’ papery percussion

quickens in a fresh breeze.

I open my eyes to a sky so blue and pure

that it pours into me like holy water.

I feel myself open up like a flower,

eager to catch all this day has to offer.

- Tess Starecheski